Cancer

Cancer

Cancer, defined in the Oxford Dictionary as “ A disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body”. Not very useful information really, could have been written by Microsoft, 100% accurate, and 100% useless information. Cancer is an ugly word, with even uglier consequences. Cancer is a word that installs fear, in those that hear it, get it, or the friends, relatives and loved ones, of those who sufferer it. 

There are no positives about cancer, I lost my father to cancer, two of my best friends, a childhood sweetheart, and numerous others I was not so close to. I always thought when thinking of my own death, that it would be in a race car, but I survived that, just to be almost taken out whilst stationary at an intersection, hardly seems fair somehow. I never really contemplated getting to 66, when the Who sang that great song, My Generation, with the even greater line “Hope I die before I get old”. I thought 30 was old, but now at 66 I still haven't got there, though I admit to a concerted effort to never grow up, growing up is for old people. 

 So now it's my turn to face cancer, and the unknown, it took 12 years to kill Carol, and only 9 months to kill lifelong friend Silly John. Not much to go on, the same cancer took 2 years to kill my Dad, but there have been great advances in medicine in the 45 years since he died. So who knows. So what have you got, well you still have life of course, it's a bit like losing the key to filler cap on the car, you can still drive it around and control it, you just know it's going to stop some time. A clue might be that I'm still observing the speed limits, so I must be expecting to be around long enough to pay the fines, hence trying to avoid them. 

 In truth and logic, not much changes, the only 2 certainties in life are death and taxes, so it's really only a revision of the time table. A reminder, not to procrastinate, race that car, go to La Scala, finish the house, attend Goodwood (the Mecca of motorsport), a trip on the Orient Express, Venice to London, the great Opera Houses of Europe. So much to do, so little time. The great Nuvolari, in answer to a journalist's question relating to fear in a race car, replied “Most people die in bed, where do you sleep”? Roger Harris, recently said, “I wasn't put on this planet to die in bed, and I have no intention of doing so”. And though I suspect I probably will, I'm not tired enough to go to bed yet, I have too much living to do, and to enjoy. Is it scary? Yes, but by Christmas I hope to have an accurate prognosis, then I can make plans, continue to meet life head on, and whatever challenges it presents. 

 “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside (in a Lotus) in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” Quote from: Hunter S Thompson. Reference to Lotus inserted by Roger Harris (author)