MICROSOFT

 

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an
electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic
navigation and communication equipment. Due to the clouds and haze
the pilot could not determine his position or course to steer to the
airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew
a handwritten sign and held it in the helicopter's window. The sign
said "WHERE AM I ?" in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a
large sign and held it in a building window. Their sign said, "YOU
ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map and
determine the course to steer to SEATAC (Seattle/Tacoma) airport and
landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the
"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The
pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building
because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless
answer."

The Waste Wasted Land. T's arris

 

 

 

 

Ever read T S Eliot's The Waste Land? Course you have, it's mandatory reading, for all would be literary students. Have you ever understood it ? I've long maintained the theory that it is thus called, because Eliot was wasted when he wrote it. There's an entire website devoted to trying to understand the Wasteland, it was written in 1922, that's that’s almost 100 years. For god's sake give it up. There are two types of people in this world, one's like me who have no idea what Eliot was on about, and those who lie about it. I have it on good authority that Eliot later became a script writer for Abbott and Costello, and penned the line from Who's on First, “I don't even know what I’m talking about”. If you find someone who claims to understand the Wastland, find out what they're on. I want some.

I had a book of poetry when I was a kid, there was one that went, “I wandered lonely as a cloud”, what was he on? Lonely as a cloud,,, news flash Mr Wordsworth, that's up to a 20,000 foot drop, it's going to hurt even if it was into “a host of golden daffodils”, daffodils my arse, I reckon they wuz poppies myself.

We do know that it was a different cloud to the one Mick Jagger was on, or he would have been told to “Get Off” now Mick could probably have stayed up there with what he was on, and just to prove it Keith Richards is still up there. Sadly Keith actually passed away in the seventies, but was, and remains so “Stoned” that he hasn't realised it yet.

What about Shakespeare, a literary terrorist if ever there was one. Best line he ever came up with “Let's kill all the lawyers” (we should have taken him up on that one). Do they stick him in jail for inciting violence, do they hell, no they make some kinda literary god out of him. So now he can continue to terrorise school kids and students for hundreds of years to come, and still continues to this day! Much Ado About Nothing? Spare me the bleedin' obvious.

Kabul ?

 

The first of the evacuees were running up the ramp when I heard the hiss of the Katyushas, followed a second later by an explosion as the first of the rockets detonated on a far runway.

It was clear to the evacuees that this would be the last plane out of the airport. What was left of the armed forces was evacuating itself with whatever aircraft was serviceable. I was running as fast as I could, my lungs in a knot. When I set foot onto the ramp, I paused to let Linh and Duc pass by. When they did not appear. I turned and saw they were no longer behind me. A mass of tormented humanity faded into the dusty distance. Even though I was escaping, I shared the torment.

No that’s not an account of Kabul in 2021. It’s Saigon in 1975. We’ve learned a lot in 46 years!

Get Vaccinated

 

Get Vaccinated! Well that’s what they tell us. Get vaccinated.

I’m a responsible and hopefully informed citizen So I used the Health Service on-line booking form. Way back in May, could have been even earlier.

Now, I have cardiovascular disease. I have had a vascular bypass. And am on medication for life, to prevent blood clots. Naturally, with the blood clotting issues with the AstraZeneca, I mention this on the form. With about 2 weeks to go, before the first appointment, I get a phone call. I doubt the guy had accessed any of my medical notes, from the questions he was asking. But, I’m not entitled to the Phizer. So he canceled my appointment.

At the time, there didn’t appear to be a great urgency, so I sat back and waited to discuss it with my GP. Then it all starts up again. So inevitably, you put your personal reservations to the back and decide to go ahead with whichever vaccine. It’s not just you, but those around you.

Back into the Health Service on-line booking form. Low and behold. I’m locked out. All my details are there, but I can’t access any of it. Make a phone call. The first time I was on hold for 40 minutes before a gave up. The second time, it actually warned the wait was over an hour! Back to the Health Service on-line booking form. Still locked out.

I’ve now made an appointment with my local GP. I made for just after I see the Cardiologist and the vascular surgeon. I’ve neither consider the AstraZeneca an issue, I’ll go ahead.

So here’s the bottom line. Get vaccinated! We don’t have enough vaccine, but get vaccinated anyway! Oh by the way.

What age group are you?

What state do you live in?

Do you live in a regional area?

Are you eligible?

So get Vaccinated!

Hanging

 

Hanging? What does it mean? In the wild west it was the hangman’s noose.

Or it could be to hang up your coat. Or to hang a picture. Hanging plants. The list goes on. But.

In Urban Slang however, it means: to wait or stay near a place, not doing very much.

Which is the very essence of this picture. The common seagull. Nothing exotic here. They’re universal. Any port, any beach, anywhere close to water. Try enjoying some fish and chips. In 30 seconds flat, you’ve got a reenactment of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Port Talbot, South Wales, to Coffs Harbour New South Wales. They’re insects with feathers.

But take a look at this guy. He defines the urban slag of “Hanging”. He’s just grey and white, against a sky blue backdrop. Yet it’s magical. He is literally hanging in the sky. The wings are still. Not flapping. He is relying solely on the wind speed alone to keep him aloft. The elevation changes a little with the wind gusts, but he could almost be asleep. There is no motion. Just stillness in the air.

Majestic, relaxed, laid back. Just waiting for a chip. “So laid back, he’s almost comatose.” No mortgage, no social security. All he needs is your chip.

Supermarkets

 Supermarkets

A convenience?

The only place I can get the cordial I like (no sugar) and I mean no sugar, is Coles.

The only place I can get the toilet cleaner I like is Woolworth's. And now they’ve stopped stocking it, so I no reason to go back. (Still looking)

The only place I can get the stir fry sauce I like is IGA.

The only place I can get the bread I like is Aldi. Oh and Aldi’s fresh food is actually fresh.

Come on guys. Every time you send me to a competitor, you risk me not coming back. I hate shopping at the best of times. Gi me a break!